What could be more romantic than the tale of east Europeans who were hired as sparring partners, got married and found themselves in the Olympic team?
There is no sport more romantic than wrestling. It's not the smack of leotard on rubber, nor the giddy thrill of seeing two go mankini-a-mankini in ancient contest ? or rather, in a 19th century approximation of what ancient contest might have looked like, which is what Greco-Roman wrestling is. No, it's the sheer aphrodisiacal quality of it all. What can you say about a sport in which five of the eastern Europeans brought over as "sparring partners" for British wrestlers have ended up marrying British wrestlers, and displacing other British wrestlers from the team?
Actually, let me rephrase that. What can you say that won't draw Messrs Carter-Ruck to this article, like flies to the proverbial, and eventually secure me a trip down the Strand to discuss it in front of m'lud?
That is a question you may ponder as we celebrate these felicitous unions, then gen up furiously on the newbies' biographies as it turns out that they now hope to compete for Britain at the London Olympics. There is Oleksandr Madyarchyk, who became naturalised after his wedding a few years back, and Myroslav Dykun, who got his passport a couple of years ago. While I'm afraid to say Myroslav's marriage since hasn't worked out, he did win gold for Britain at last year's Commonwealth Games.
As for the others ? please don't call them Johnny-Foreigners-come-lately ? they too have found love. One, Yana Stadnik, has recently married British-born hope Leon Rattigan, and may be Britain's best chance for gold (if she gets her passport in time). So whichever way you slice it, love is in the air at wrestling's Salford academy.
Incidentally, though Yana and Leon's marriage wasn't publicised, it was witnessed by the British Wrestling Association chairman, Malcolm Morley, and another of the governing body's staff. And following last weekend's 2012 wrestling test event ? when even wrestling's world governing body criticised Team GB's selection policy, which has seen five out of the seven places on a well-funded elite squad go to Ukrainians or erstwhile Ukrainians ? Malcolm has moved to deflect the barbs. "If anybody is implying that it has all been set up," fumed Malcolm of the marriages, "that is ridiculous, just laughable." He hopes that Theresa May will fast-track the remaining elite squad members' passport applications.And if the home secretary has one romantic bone in her body, she'd jolly well better.
In the meantime I must confess myself half in love with Malcolm, who is clearly rising to his role in the romantic comedy he has created. On the one level he has a rudimentary grasp of the smooth corporate-speak percolated down from the likes of Lord Coe, speaking of British Wrestling's "new talent pathway". But on the other he can't help himself from pointing out that Manchester City bring in foreign imports, and saying things like: "We don't want to be like Eddie the Eagle." A confirmed meritocrat ? British Wrestling's performance director is Malcolm's son ? he points out that "it's a cruel world". Quite wrongly, of course, the set-up makes me daydream of that world cinema classic Miss Congeniality, where a criminally insane mother-and-son double act run the Miss America pageant, and it takes tomboy FBI agent Sandra Bullock to go undercover and expose their dastardly plot. And yes, romance ensues.
Anyway, the British Olympic Association is right behind British Wrestling, which is hugely to its credit ? and indeed, it was ever thus. As they said back in 2008, when Malcolm first imported the eastern Europeans: "The sparring partners are here so that they can give the best chance to British athletes to raise their standards."
Well, you can't predict how things will work out, can you?
On a separate matter, what a joy to note the Olympic Park is already developing "Beast of Bodmin" plotlines. Do take a moment to enjoy a story from Tuesday's Sun, which announced that "a mysterious killer beast is lurking in the waterways close to the 2012 Olympics site hunting for prey". As the paper goes on: "Witnesses saw the creature ? possibly an alligator or giant snake ? drag a 16lb Canada goose under the River Lea so fast it disappeared without a sound." It's too late to ask for alligator-wrestling to be made an Olympic sport in time for next summer, but if there's any chance at all, I do hope we consider importing some single Floridian gentlemen, and wait for true love to take its inevitable course.
Source: http://www.guardian.co.uk/sport/blog/2011/dec/14/britain-2012-wrestling-east-europeans
No comments:
Post a Comment